My daily horoscope today:
Your work activities get in the way of your real purpose today. It's not that you are a bad employee; it's just that right now your mind is not on pleasing your boss. You are ready for a real vacation or, at least, for a quick getaway to take your mind off the same old mundane tasks that prevent you from living out your fantasies.
My mind is DEFINITELY not on pleasing my boss and I am DEFINITELY ready for vacation!
This past Saturday was my b-day. The cover art for my band's album really made for a great one. I'm so happy with how it's turning out. There's still plenty of work to do on many fronts and all of it is stressing me...plus, the fact that my "day" job is just not making me happy and proving to be very frustrating as of late. But I'm going out of town for a long weekend with great relatives, including the hubby and the ever-wonderful dog, so I'm very happy about looking forward to that, and being with people who love me.
Here, here! To a light at the end of the "work" tunnel...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Poem 4: LOVERS THROUGH THE AGES
LOVERS THROUGH THE AGES
darkness envelops the room:
shrouding,
like the two masses
that converge
(a lesson in electrokinetics).
the temptress has staked her claim
and with a fierce hunger,
she pierces her prey
(he is quick to retaliate).
and off they go,
passionate soulmates,
they have known each other
for an eternity
yet they have just met
(a lesson in the transcendental).
slowly sinking to the ground
as their heat rises
they feed:
giving life,
breathing in the souls of each other
(a lesson in selflessness).
joining together
one being:
they have created their own existence.
copyright 2008, Spunky
darkness envelops the room:
shrouding,
like the two masses
that converge
(a lesson in electrokinetics).
the temptress has staked her claim
and with a fierce hunger,
she pierces her prey
(he is quick to retaliate).
and off they go,
passionate soulmates,
they have known each other
for an eternity
yet they have just met
(a lesson in the transcendental).
slowly sinking to the ground
as their heat rises
they feed:
giving life,
breathing in the souls of each other
(a lesson in selflessness).
joining together
one being:
they have created their own existence.
copyright 2008, Spunky
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
The meaning of life, universe + everything
The Hitchiker's Guide...
probably the best comedic sci-fi book series of all time.
Douglas Adams made fun of the ultimate meaning of life, the universe and everything.
Why do we strive to look for meaning?
I was raised in a fundamentalist Southern Baptist home. Faith was #1. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit--the trinity and your faith in it, with Jesus' cleansing blood--was what you needed to be safe from firey hell.
The afterlife is where it's at.
I've struggled, in a sense, all my life with the meaning of life. I guess we all do on any number of levels, depending. Some people give up faith completely. The world is a shithole and they're resigned to it, or just do themselves in. For some, it's all there is. I know where I was raised, the uncomfortable destitution and poverty probably made for the society that revolved around church and that sense of community, and a sense that, after this shit, there's GOT to be something better.
I don't blame either one, really. I just teeter in the middle.
I tried to figure it out...went through all kinds of searching through all kinds of religions, lifestyles, philosophies. I've taken them on and off like jeans in a mall, when you're trying to find the right fit...too highwater, too baggy, too tight, too long.
Today was a hard day for my husband. He has a big show on a big day: 8/8/08. Triple 8 means triple abundance in Chinese numerology, so it's probably got them all hot having the Olympics start in Beijing on that date. Two of his important fellow musicians had to back out of this gig so they cancelled on him today. It sucks ass. I had to look up whatever meaning people may have for that date because I was certain of a hex, LOL.
But it's supposed to be an OPTIMUM time. This is the best day for this gig, in a sense, if you believe numerologists. I even found some people out there saying that, while 666 is the DEVIL, 888 is JESUS. Jesus is good, right?
The numerology stuff was pretty mind-boggling. I'd read about it before and calculated things and did all that before in my New Age phase of life (circa early 20s), but it's been a while. I got curious about it all over again and started calculating my and my husband's birthdates for our life path numbers and found something really weird.
Both our birthdates added up to the life path number 4.
Apparently people under that number are worker bees with an honest, hardworking ethical way about them. Damn, don't I know we work our asses off!
But then, I realized. Two fours make 8.
And that was really weird.
I got caught up in it to calculate my destiny based on my birth name. I'm a six which means my purpose is to be a humanitarian, to help people whenever and wherever possible, and to be creative and make art that means something.
I hope one day I can feel I'm living up to that.
Then I caught myself in where I was going, starting to want to obsess more over it. Made me think of the silliness of what I was doing, you know? Like, I'm not really a skeptical disbeliever but I'm not gullible into believing everything. I don't believe in everything or one thing or nothing. I don't know if I can have the ability to understand the meaning of life, if there is one. I don't think I'm that qualified. I'm a human animal with a pea brain compared to the largeness, the vastness of this universe. Who the hell knows what's up?
Still, I guess the point is the fun in the questions themselves and debating them. That's really all we have so we may as well revel in it, if we at all can.
probably the best comedic sci-fi book series of all time.
Douglas Adams made fun of the ultimate meaning of life, the universe and everything.
Why do we strive to look for meaning?
I was raised in a fundamentalist Southern Baptist home. Faith was #1. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit--the trinity and your faith in it, with Jesus' cleansing blood--was what you needed to be safe from firey hell.
The afterlife is where it's at.
I've struggled, in a sense, all my life with the meaning of life. I guess we all do on any number of levels, depending. Some people give up faith completely. The world is a shithole and they're resigned to it, or just do themselves in. For some, it's all there is. I know where I was raised, the uncomfortable destitution and poverty probably made for the society that revolved around church and that sense of community, and a sense that, after this shit, there's GOT to be something better.
I don't blame either one, really. I just teeter in the middle.
I tried to figure it out...went through all kinds of searching through all kinds of religions, lifestyles, philosophies. I've taken them on and off like jeans in a mall, when you're trying to find the right fit...too highwater, too baggy, too tight, too long.
Today was a hard day for my husband. He has a big show on a big day: 8/8/08. Triple 8 means triple abundance in Chinese numerology, so it's probably got them all hot having the Olympics start in Beijing on that date. Two of his important fellow musicians had to back out of this gig so they cancelled on him today. It sucks ass. I had to look up whatever meaning people may have for that date because I was certain of a hex, LOL.
But it's supposed to be an OPTIMUM time. This is the best day for this gig, in a sense, if you believe numerologists. I even found some people out there saying that, while 666 is the DEVIL, 888 is JESUS. Jesus is good, right?
The numerology stuff was pretty mind-boggling. I'd read about it before and calculated things and did all that before in my New Age phase of life (circa early 20s), but it's been a while. I got curious about it all over again and started calculating my and my husband's birthdates for our life path numbers and found something really weird.
Both our birthdates added up to the life path number 4.
Apparently people under that number are worker bees with an honest, hardworking ethical way about them. Damn, don't I know we work our asses off!
But then, I realized. Two fours make 8.
And that was really weird.
I got caught up in it to calculate my destiny based on my birth name. I'm a six which means my purpose is to be a humanitarian, to help people whenever and wherever possible, and to be creative and make art that means something.
I hope one day I can feel I'm living up to that.
Then I caught myself in where I was going, starting to want to obsess more over it. Made me think of the silliness of what I was doing, you know? Like, I'm not really a skeptical disbeliever but I'm not gullible into believing everything. I don't believe in everything or one thing or nothing. I don't know if I can have the ability to understand the meaning of life, if there is one. I don't think I'm that qualified. I'm a human animal with a pea brain compared to the largeness, the vastness of this universe. Who the hell knows what's up?
Still, I guess the point is the fun in the questions themselves and debating them. That's really all we have so we may as well revel in it, if we at all can.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
spontaneous expulsion of a human fetus
My sister-in-law had a DNC yesterday morning.
My brother had called several weeks ago but we never connected, about the good news...
Well, the good news is now bad news.
Apparently when she went in for a checkup they discovered that there was a probelm with her pregnancy.
And thus, since it was obvious to the health professionals that she would not be able to successfully carry the pregnancy to term, they scraped her uterus free of it.
It's just weird, you know, because I was raised VERY religiously. Fundamentalist, Jerry Falwell-and-Jim Baker-watching Baptists in the heart of white trash KY. Every day was another walk with Jesus. Being gay and having abortions are the worst sins ever.
My brother is perfect to people: he's a Southern Baptist preacher boy. My mother's favorite, somewhat a coddler of him...he could never do wrong.
Me--I'm the black sheep, of course. I don't even connect with my family much about my life. It's like we're foreigners to each other, most times, and if we try to delve deep with each other it only ends up badly, really.
So to hear "DNC" come out of my brother's mouth--kinda surreal. Kinda unreal. Kinda like, really? You're ok with that? Is God mad at you or is it ok?
I called my sister to let her know. She couldn't grasp it at all. She distrusts doctors, medicine. A lot of it is rooted in our being poor folk and not having the best care, or negligent caretakers, particularly for my grandmothers, one of whom died in a terrible nursing whom and the other, who was a paranoid schizophrenic with whom her doctor seemed to treat as a guinea pig with medication, only to die from heart issues in a hospital, which my sister deemed did her in, not that she was really old and ready or anything.
I'm sure she, my sister, has more issues with this than my brother and his wife. She'll probably take it harder for a longer period of time. And that's also just the way she is, not just the circumstance and the fact that it was, hey, an abortion.
I am sad for them. I am sad I lost a neice/nephew. I wonder how they justify this with their current dogma structure, though. It's weird. I mourn for what could have been. Life is life. Pregnancies don't always work out. Life doesn't always win.
My brother had called several weeks ago but we never connected, about the good news...
Well, the good news is now bad news.
Apparently when she went in for a checkup they discovered that there was a probelm with her pregnancy.
And thus, since it was obvious to the health professionals that she would not be able to successfully carry the pregnancy to term, they scraped her uterus free of it.
It's just weird, you know, because I was raised VERY religiously. Fundamentalist, Jerry Falwell-and-Jim Baker-watching Baptists in the heart of white trash KY. Every day was another walk with Jesus. Being gay and having abortions are the worst sins ever.
My brother is perfect to people: he's a Southern Baptist preacher boy. My mother's favorite, somewhat a coddler of him...he could never do wrong.
Me--I'm the black sheep, of course. I don't even connect with my family much about my life. It's like we're foreigners to each other, most times, and if we try to delve deep with each other it only ends up badly, really.
So to hear "DNC" come out of my brother's mouth--kinda surreal. Kinda unreal. Kinda like, really? You're ok with that? Is God mad at you or is it ok?
I called my sister to let her know. She couldn't grasp it at all. She distrusts doctors, medicine. A lot of it is rooted in our being poor folk and not having the best care, or negligent caretakers, particularly for my grandmothers, one of whom died in a terrible nursing whom and the other, who was a paranoid schizophrenic with whom her doctor seemed to treat as a guinea pig with medication, only to die from heart issues in a hospital, which my sister deemed did her in, not that she was really old and ready or anything.
I'm sure she, my sister, has more issues with this than my brother and his wife. She'll probably take it harder for a longer period of time. And that's also just the way she is, not just the circumstance and the fact that it was, hey, an abortion.
I am sad for them. I am sad I lost a neice/nephew. I wonder how they justify this with their current dogma structure, though. It's weird. I mourn for what could have been. Life is life. Pregnancies don't always work out. Life doesn't always win.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
